Don't read this

Is it not my views that I create the world around me?  I define what is right and wrong, I define what is bad and good.  I perceive that the world is full of good people but when they are bad, they prove against what I believe, and to my world which I have claimed to be a God, they have become the enemy and must be removed, destroyed, banished from my world. So we move, all of us Gods to our own world, defining that which we perceive.  Creating and labeling.   Yet in the end, this world that I have made will be nothing, I will only be relived by those that have defined me in their own world.  So what do I care of mine when all I will be remembered for will be in your world?  Should I cease to want, to create my world.  Should I let go of my reasons and definitions and abide by the color of good in your world?  Will this make me a better person, to not need my own resolution but to live in the definition of yours?

Is this world dark? Are we all struggling to walk in the shadows of this world? Do we bring the light to see in front of us from the sun in our eyes? Do we cast the light of our eyes onto others? Our world onto theirs? I've got dirt stuck to the blood on my skin from the dealings of this life. I light my way, keeping my eyes open, showing the sun. Like a shark that needs to move, it's not the stillness that will end him but the pounding movement of the dark blue world that will pound it to it's end. I burn inside to keep the sun glowing, to keep me moving, to keep shining on.

I don't want to make a scene, but sometimes I want to yell. I don't want to make an entrance, but sometimes I want to be noticed. I don't want to end with a giant finally, but sometimes I want to be missed. I don't want to put on an act, but sometimes I want to be adored. I don't want to take the spotlight, but sometimes I want to be noticed. I don't want to act like a character, buy sometimes I want to be remembered. I don't want the curtain to fall and to be forgotten but I have been taught to never upstage the show.  It's the act that is important, I have just been casted to maintain the theme.

I wonder if I am only defined by my actions or the the perceptions of others.  Does what I do matter unless it is wanted, unless it is appreciated, unless it is known?  Can I be humble and kind to no avail if there is no reception to the act?  Am I doing it for myself or for those that need it, or I perceive that they can use the lending hand?  So what does that make me? So where do I stand in your eyes?  Am I just a niche, a fad, a moment that will fade away?  How do I describe myself when I speak to others? Do I get to make that decision or is it the world around me? I can't help but feel that I am defined by the actions of others, the feelings passed though actions.  And all I see are break lights all around.  The hesitation that something horrible, a potential accident is up ahead.  You make every effort to slow down and make sure that you break to a safe distance.  To protect and cause traffic to all those behind you.  Beca...

I stand in front of a dead end Nowhere to turn This is not the life I wanted Not the life I thought I had led I stand trapped in front of a wall This is where I was led I tried the best I could I did what I could with what I had Scraping at the walls This was not my fault This is how I am I did everything right, as I was told It was not supposed to be like this I am trapped It's so cold I can't see any light seeping in I only hope as I wait, as I scrape Bloody knuckles pound the walls Nails bleeding as they turn to claws Fatigued and hopeless Anxiety for as long as I've known I grip my fists as I punch my way through I can't change the way I am I'll just stay here I've come to accept there is no way out This is my penance, my life, what was carved out for me I grip my fists, holding on to what I have forgotten This is all I have now No light in front of me I don't even know how to change...

Look up at the clouds, that's where your dreams live.  Your a little child but you can live up to your dreams. You work hard, you strive, you dedicate, you practice.  You fail and then you try again.  You are determined.  You lay down in the sunshine, looking up at the clouds, at your dreams.  You spend your time imagining how great it will all be.  You will live up there someday, you and your dreams together. You succeed a little, you try a little more.  You fail and learn, keeping your dreams your drive.  You lay in the field at night with the grass at your back.  Looking up to the sky with the stars at night.  All the dreams have their lights on, leading you in, letting you know that they are waiting up for you. You sacrifice, you fight, you give it your life and then that moment opens.  Everything you wanted whispers to you in a moment.  You have been listening all your life.  You take it by the hand and it lifts...

Protected like a fragile breath, I keep safe as not to hurt.  Then I was scratched and everyone took care of me.  They bandaged it up and cleaned it well.  It hurt... and I remembered. I healed and again protected myself, remembering only the pain.  Then I was scratched again, and no one to bandage it, no one to keep me from looking at the blood.  I remember the pain but I was used to it, I could feel it, I was drawn to it.  I wanted to see why it hurt, why it made me cry, so I stuck my finger in.  Excruciating waves quickly bloomed from my heart to my whole body and just as quick I pulled my finger out and the relief was divine. I shuttered to imagine the pain, yet I grit my teeth and stuck my finger further in. The next day I walked aimlessly with a scar on my tear.  Harden to protect me, keep the hurtful things out.  I could touch it but I felt nothing.  I knew it was for the better.  I knew that it was the way it was me...