Don't read this

I want to inhale until my lungs are out of breath. I want to fight until my hands fall off. I want to run until my legs go limp. I want to burn my muscles until they've gone cold. I want to taste until my tongue goes numb. I want to feel until I've fringed all my nerves. I want to yell until I've lost my voice. I want to listen until the world has gone mute. I want to see until my eyes go blind. I want to love until my heart bleeds. I'm just afraid I don't have enough blood to keep me going.

I thought today, as I tried to do some good in the world, a little kindness to balance out the selfishness I perceived. Am I really good? Do I look at this world as a negative place that I feel compelled to do good to balance out what I think is the evil actions that the world puts out? What of the people that I see as uncaring, walking around so deserving of all, demanding their fair share. Do they not look at the world as a positive place where everyone gets their share, just waiting for their time for it to come? Do I value that as poor judgment, the wrong way to live, to view this world as a gift for all that just hasn't reached the time to open it. When I look at this package as another burden that will weigh you down so I do what I can to help others carry it. Maybe I am the bad person, maybe I should be positive and think that everything is going to end up well. Await my gift that is coming. I don't know, I don't know what to think anymore... or maybe I shoul...