Scared...

I watched the news today about a killer in a different state.  I sympathized but I didn't care too much.  I woke up and ate my ice cream like normal.

I watched the news today about that killer still on the loose.  I wasn't too interested but there was nothing much on tv.  I sat there and watched as he ran.

I watched the news today and that killer was no where to be seen.  I felt bad for the people he attacked and the police that will probably get a bad rap.  I went out for a smoke to think what if it was me.

I watched the news today and the killer was no where to be found.  I started to wonder what would I do if he came to my town.  I bought some locks for my upstairs windows, went downstairs to watch something funny, ate some ice cream and calmed my nerves.

I watched the news today and they saw the killer crossing state lines.  He's headed towards me, at least this way.  I mean it's miles and what are the chances.  Hundreds of cities in the way, millions of other people to slay.  Maybe some ice cream to calm my nerves.  I probably won't go out today, maybe not tomorrow, just in case.

I watched the news today and nothing, there was nothing about the killer.  Not a word, he's in hiding, he's near.  Maybe it was good that I didn't go out that other day, maybe that's why there was no news, maybe I am supposed to be the news.

I watched the news today about a girl at school who got an award.  I don't care about her! Where is the killer?  What am I supposed to do? Is it safe? Can I go outside? It's been days, maybe weeks.  I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to die.  I'll watch the news tomorrow, perhaps something will be on then.  Perhaps he will be caught.  Perhaps he will be dead.

I watched the news today and a special report was on.  It was the killer, a special report but no news.  Just everything I have watched to this point.  They don't know where he is, they don't know where he's gone.  They show all the people they have already spoken to, which means he's where he hasn't been yet.  He hasn't been here.

I was going to watch the news today but all I can think of is that I don't want to die.  I don't want to leave my house.  I don't want to die.  There's so much that I want to do.  I want to go out and live.  I want to experience the world.  That killer he's made me stay in for months... at least months... years... scared to die.  I need to calm my nerves, more ice cream, yes more to calm my fear, more to keep me ok, more to keep me from being scared.  I want so much to live and run free...

Today, today I didn't watch the news.  Today the news watched me.  There I am, special report.  It was late last night.  I was scared, so scared during the night. My ice cream by my side.  So scared the sweat dripped through my shirt, so scared I couldn't hear the door, so scared I hardly noticed the knob turn, so scared my heart pulsed so much.  One, two, more men came in.  I was so scared to die, I watched the news, sat on my couch and ate my ice cream to calm my fear.  I was so scared to die, so much I wanted to live.  The darkness fell my eyes as I watched the men surround me.  They were on the news, I was on the news.  Scared to die.

I so much wanted to live, I watched waiting, scared.  The men came into my home.  I just laid there.  The world came into my house.  I was on the ground, ice cream on top of me.  I wanted to live. I wanted to live and run free... but I was scared, or maybe it was all the ice cream.

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